Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Prayer: September 7, 2016

Heavenly Father,

I don't know what it is that's making me feel this way. I go to bed with a heavy heart and I wake up not feeling any better. I tried fighting and finding a goal to aim for. It started really well, but now I see that I'm not really motivated to aim for that goal. I wake up every morning feeling hopeless, feeling like I have no direction, feeling like the whole world is against me. I don't want to feel this way. Please father, help me get better! I need healing.

Thank you that I'm no longer fighting these demons alone, it's very comforting to know that someone is walking with me on this journey. The ears you've sent to listen are doing me wonder. Please help me to feel more comfortable and open to share with them. Help me to feel that I'm not troubling them with my struggles, because they want to listen and they want to help me get better. I used to fight everything alone and now you've sent an army to fight with me. Thank you. Thank you for music that soothes and calms me when I sit alone having my crying spells. I know you're here cheering me on as I fight my depression. I will try my best not to let these demons get the best of me. Please hold me when I can't hold on anymore, please catch me when I'm about to fall...others can't see the pain that I struggle with, but you understand exactly how I feel on the inside. Some days are better but other days I will feel like I have no reason to keep fighting. Thank you for allowing me to be weak at times I can't be strong anymore. Those around me doesn't really give me a chance to be weak, but you still embrace the weak side of me.. Not just the strong side, the side that most people want to see. When I get myself out of this mess, I will grow stronger. I will get through this. I will fight hard. Thank you for not giving up on me, for helping me realize the signs when I've passed it off as anger, as sadness, as something not so serious. Thank you for stopping me before I did anymore selfharm, inside and out. You interfered because you knew I needed help and you've reached out for me once again. Thank you.

I pray in your holy name, amen.

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