I'm so tired...

Heavenly Father,

How much longer do I have to wait? I'm so tired. I don't know how long I could hold up for. There really seems to be no way, no way to end this suffering. It's been a long 2 years. I kept praying and hoping, but only to be followed by disappointment and more waiting. I had hope. I wish I could say that my hope is still as strong as it was one year ago or even 2 months ago, but the long waiting is making me very tired. Not only the physical work, but the disappointments that directly followed each hope I had. How much longer until this current problem is resolved? When will you show me the answer? Is this where you want me to be or did I understand wrong? Please give me direction Lord.

I feel so weak now, my body aches all over. My mind wanders everywhere, especially before I fall asleep. These thoughts keep me up late at night. I know you haven't forsaken me, I just can't help but wonder why you haven't shown a sign yet? Do you want me to let go or do you want me to hold on? I thought holding on was what you wanted for me, but why haven't my prayers been answered? And now I wonder if you want me to let go, but that doesn't seem to be an option either. There seems to be no way out Lord. The only option I see is to drop everything and give up. I had always been a fighter and you know that I don't give up easily. Please give me strength to continue. Help me to trust and follow your lead. I will obey every command you give to me. Please keep holding on to my hand when I feel like letting go. I need you Father. More than anything right now. I can't carry on without you. We've overcome so many battles and obstacles, but with your strength and not mine. Please help me to get the strength to get pass this long storm that's been happening for 2 years. Thank you for not giving up on me and for sending the best brothers and sisters to encourage me and listen to me. Thank you for the support that you send to me in all the different ways. Thank you that your love is the greatest love of all. I will keep trying Father.

I pray in your Holy name, amen.