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| Sunset in Gatineau, Quebec |
1. God.
I am thankful to have God in my life. I am thankful that he is present all the time in my life even when I don't acknowledge it. His presence reminds me that I'm not alone and that itself gives me strength to get through my struggles. Even though right now I'm still struggling with so many problems, it is comforting to know that my Father in heaven did not forsake me. In fact, he's watching over me and giving me guidance as I walk on my path. Every time I have doubt, I remind myself of the past and how God brought me through each one of those 'tough times'. This time won't be any different, although the waiting time is taking a little longer. The toughest part about this journey is trusting God and waiting on him. But I know that I can hold on to his promises and during this waiting time, he is training me to trust and to be patient. In the end, God is moulding me into becoming a better person.
2. A place to live.
I am thankful that whether I'm home in Toronto or working in Gatineau, I have a place to live in. As the winter approaches, it's getting colder and colder by the day, I am thankful to have a place to shelter me from the cold. I am also thankful that there is heating in each of the places that I live in. There are many people around this world who don't have this, but also many people who have this and take it for granted.
3. Food to nourish my body.
Since I work in a restaurant I often hear people complaining about the food they eat; whether they're tired of eating the same thing every day or the food not meeting their expectations or the fact that they just want to eat something else, but the food they have in front of them is somehow not pleasing to their eyes. We often forget that there are people who are just hoping to have a piece of bread to fill their tummies or a glass of water to quench their thirst. As I hear these complains, I am reminded of how blessed I am when I have food served on my table each meal.. Although my eating schedule is different each day, I am thankful that I have food to give me energy to get through work. Sometimes it's not something I really want to eat, but I eat it without complaining anyway. I definitely need it to get the energy for work. It's been very busy lately and we're so short on staff. I'm thankful that although we have a staff shortage, God still provided food for us to nourish our bodies.
4. Friends
Over the last year and a half, I've been struggling with so many problems either at home, at work or the health problems of family members. There were and are just so many things bringing me down. In mid 2014 I stepped away from God and decided to try do things my way in hopes of getting through those struggles faster. That didn't work out well, instead I just ended up falling deeper and deeper into trouble without God in my life. I didn't blame God for all this happening, but I also didn't invite him to help me get through it. I heard him calling me every now and then, but I felt too tired to reply. I pushed everyone away from me. I ignored all the messages from my friends and family for a good 3-6 months. I am thankful that God had sent me so many good friends who persisted on texting me. They wanted to see if I was okay even when I didn't give them a single sign that I was alive. Not only did they not blame me for ignoring them, but they showered me with love and encouragement, reminding me that although they are not physically here to give me support, they are always available to listen and give me advice through the touch of a phone. Eventually these few friends guided me back to God. 2015 is now coming to an end and my struggles aren't over yet, but I'm walking with God and He's helping me fight these battles. 2015 wasn't much better than 2014, but the battles I've been fighting feel a lot less lonely. I need God's strength to keep me fighting. Sometimes when we get lost, God sends the right people to help us find our way home.
5. Family
This journey would've felt more lonely without my family. Although we disagree and fight sometimes, in the end we all love each other. It is these people who've influenced me as I grew up and part of what shaped me to be the way I am right now (which I am very happy to be). They've taught me so many things throughout my life. I only wish that I'll be able to have more time to spend with family members who are in Toronto. One year ago from today, I lost my grandfather. It was so hard, things were not going right at all and I was hoping to be able to spend time with him during Christmas. I knew he was growing old and weak, but my grandfather had always been a fighter and I was confident that he would win this battle. I didn't have many chances to go home in the last 2 and a half years, but I'm grateful for the few times I was able to spend with him. I also enjoyed spending time with my 2 grandmothers. I wish that they will have good health and we'll be able to cherish more memories together. (Both my grandmothers became ill in 2014).
6. Clothing.
Since I work in a restaurant, my choice of clothing isn't very stylish. Actually, I should say that I don't spend much time choosing what to wear. I don't have time to go shopping either, but I'm thankful that I have enough clothing to wear and keep me warm for the winter. I have long-sleeved tops, big sweaters and jackets to keep me warm.
7. The struggles that I face.
I hate all the struggles that I've had and still have, but I have to admit that I am still thankful for them. In one way or another they've helped to improve my character. After all these years of facing one problem after another, I've also noticed changes in my character. Although, I still struggle to trust God completely, I can say that I've improved a lot. In this past year I've learned that patience is not just having the ability to wait, but also to have a good attitude while waiting. Sometimes it's easy to doubt when God takes a little longer to answer.
In the last year or so I've been struggling with the biggest problem I've ever faced while working in the restaurant; staff shortage. I've seen God's works in the past and I know what he's capable of. I questioned: you are God Almighty, you can do anything and everything. How come you haven't put an end this seemingly never-ending problem? I didn't have many chances to go to church in the last two years, but during that one chance I had earlier this year I heard a message that was much needed. It was about pruning. I then understood that God allowed me to go through this struggle, because I had some characteristics that weren't pleasing to God.
During my first year in Gatineau I also faced many problems, but one by one God helped me to overcome each problem. However, I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that it was God's strength I leaned on to help me through the obstacles. After jumping and safely landing each hurdle, I've gained skill points in different areas. I noticed that my leadership skills had a huge boost and slowly I became more proud. I started to see more of me and less of God. As I'm still struggling to get through this problem, I get a chance to reflect and learn; it helps me to become more patient and attentive to what God is trying to tell me. At the same time, I realized that I'm nothing without God. It is God's strength that I feed on. When I find my struggles too difficult, I think about the many tough times and situations that God took me out of, and that itself gives me more strength to keep on fighting. It's been a year and a half and I'm still waiting on God, I have yet to see an answer. The toughest part is waiting and trusting God, but I know I can hold on to his promises as I'm reminded of this verse:
"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield and the horn of my salvation, stronghold." (Psalm 18:2)
8. The help that is already provided to me.
We have struggled with staff shortage at the restaurant for over a year now and things don't seem to be getting better. After waiting for so long and hoping that God will provide for us, I've learned that instead of looking at what we don't have, I can look at what we do have. I'm grateful that we do have one cook working for us and he's trying his best to give us a helping hand. I'm grateful for the other staff who are understanding; they know that we are short of hands in the kitchen and they offer their helping hands when possible.
9. The holiday season.
Sometimes we're so busy and caught up in our own lives that we forget that 'Jesus is the reason for the season'. For Christmas nowadays most people are busy shopping for gifts or trying to find time to spend with family. We get caught up in this kind of mentality and forget what is the real meaning of Christmas. It's not just the 'it's better to give than to receive'; that's certainly what our Lord Jesus did. As the season approaches again, I'm thankful to be reminded that Christmas is not just about gifts and spending time with family, but it's to celebrate the birth of Jesus. This is important because God gave us his one and only son to come into this world and die on the cross. He bore our sins and reconciled us to God. Through him, we have salvation. And this should be why we celebrate Christmas.
I was reminded of this last night as I read chapter one in the book of John. "The true light that gives light to everyone was coming to this world. He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed his name, he gave the right to become children of God." (John 1: 9-12) and "The word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the father, full of grace and truth." (John 1:14).